Perfectionism is rooted in an attitude of not being good enough, not accepting oneself; not accepting the fallibility of human beings.
It leads to self-critical rumination, anxiety, depression, OCD, addiction and other harmful parts that might be trying to protect from being overwhelmed by the pain of feeling inadequate.
In her poem, “I Am Me”, Virginia Satir lets us know that all parts are good. That if we don’t like some behaviors that aren’t befitting, that we can work to change them – with self-respect and compassion.
This is the way we approach Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS), with the premise that “all parts are good”, and yet, some are misdirected, too strong, or not fitting at this moment. In this way we do not reject parts of ourselves (which never feels good), but we value and encourage change where desired.
Check out this video of Satir’s classic poem on self-esteem and self-acceptance.